doggy diarrhea and edward gorey

** Warning: this dream contains graphic excrement and may not be appropriate for all readers. **

This was a variation on a theme I've dreamed before. I was living with my parents, sister, and grandmother (I don't remember any spouses for my sister and me, but it's possible they were there too). Somehow I had gotten myself into a position where I was doing 99% of the housework without realizing it--cooking, meal cleanup, laundry, cleaning, everything. All of the family members were sitting around the living room reading* and I was wandering around trying figure out what to do next and wishing I had time to do some project for myself, or my own reading. The dog was laying on the couch, and I realized that something wasn't quite right with her backside. On closer inspection, I saw that she was smeared with the remains of diarrhea. At first I thought none of it had gotten on the couch, and I was panicking about how to try to get her off the couch without dirtying it. I started freaking out and yelling incoherently about dog doo and having to move her, and that they needed to help me, but everyone just glanced up vaguely and went right back to their reading. Then I saw that there was a big plop of excrement that had landed in between the two couch sections, and that really set me off. I started yelling and hyperventilating, which got the dog all riled up so that she spread little bits of yellowish pea-soup-resembling doo all over everything.

Of course that got me even more agitated, and I yelled and yelled and yelled about how I was doing ALL the work for everyone, even washing their dirty laundry, and did they really think that was fair, and how had this happened, and why wouldn't anyone help me with anything, and how could they live with themselves, and why didn't they notice that dog excrement, and why did they think it was okay that *I* was going to have to be the one to clean up all the little bits smeared all around.

They just looked at me with mild surprise and concern, made a few lame excuses for not helping, and a couple of them just left the room to get away from my yelling, implying that the problem was that I was unhinged.

Then my alarm went off, and in my hazy, feeble attempts to stop hyperventilating and wake up, my brain abruptly started making up Edward Gorey-esque doggerel: "J is for Jacob, who exhibited pluck; I is for Ivan, who ran out of luck."



*My family's default setting in real life.

dirty people

had a dream that i was driving around orlando in my parent's minivan, only it was white and not green. i had picked up lunch from one of my favorite places, a greek diner, and was super excited to eat it.

i pulled into a bank (?) parking lot and set my lunch down on the sidewalk. my intention was to park the van and come back and eat my lunch while sitting in the grass. however, as soon as i started to drive towards a parking spot, i saw two guys and a girl run over to my food and scarf it down. i was pissed! i drove the van back around and began to yell at them through the window about how rude and inconsiderate they were to eat my lunch. while i was yelling, i noticed that the three of them were quite dirty. this gave me pause as i wondered if they were homeless and if i was being a meanie by yelling at innocent, hungry people. as i was trying to figure this out, all three jumped into the van. one pushed me out of the driver's seat and took control of the van. the others stole my wallet and my cell phone. they started driving away, with me inside.

i began fighting all three of them trying to get my wallet and cellphone back while trying to either regain control of the vehicle or convince people on the outside that i was being kidnapped. i would get one item back only to lose another and when i realized that no one belived me when i yelled out the window for help, i turned my attention towards fighting the driver. at one point i remember digging my finger nails into his arm and him trying to do the same to me in return. and then i freaked out a little bit because i remembered how dirty all three of them were and wondered if they had a disease and if the scratching and bleeding between us would get me infected.

somewhere around this time we ended up at a crowded facility (some sort of lecture hall?) where there were cops present. they were trying to help me get my stuff back from the three dirty people but were having no luck. at this point i was furious. i had finally retrieved my cell phone and my wallet - but my atm card was missing. i went to the girl in the threesome and demanded my atm card back. she laughed and said as soon as we stop using it and pointed to the other two dirty people who were busy purchasing things online with a some sort of iphone.

i turned around to find one of the cops to help me when i ran into a co-worker. this co-worker, in her usually protective-manner, asked me do you want me to take care of this for you? having her take care of the situation wasn't my first choice since i knew it probably meant something illegal and there were cops around. but then i realized the cops weren't helping and so out of exasperation i said yes! get my atm card back! she promptly walked over to the dirty girl, picked her up and walked over to an open area. the girl was laughing at first (the three dirty people laughed and mocked me quite a bit throughout the whole ordeal) and then she stopped laughing and demanded to be put down. my co-worker then turned her upside down and shook her by her feet. out of her clothes came a ton of other people's credit and atm cards. they kept falling out, making a mountain on the floor. when my co-worker had given the dirty girl a final shake, she dropped her on the floor. the girl was pretty livid and tried to retrieve some of the stolen cards. but by this time the police had returned and... victory!

(though i don't remember finding my card)