scary rednecks

I may be having another run of unpleasant dreams, because I had one last night that was really scary, although it probably won't sound scary. Trust me, it was terrifying.

I was out somewhere in the country with some members of my family. I don't remember exactly who was there other than my mother, but I think my sister, grandmother, and some other random people were with us (yeah, I guess it counts as a group trip). I was walking by myself down a very narrow, deserted country road. It was very pretty, running between wide fields on one side and a hillside on the other, and I was completely relaxed (I think I was even picking wildflowers).

I wasn't expecting a car to come along, so when one did I was completely taken off guard. I didn't even see it until it was level with me, and the road was so narrow that it brushed me as it went past (very slowly). I wasn't too alarmed until I noticed that not only had they slowed way down when they passed me, but they were coming to a complete stop. The driver and passenger got out, and I saw that they were a couple. Normally this would reassure me, but they were horrifying, very Menacing-Redneck-from-a-horror-movie*. The man was tall and skinny with stringy blond hair and a trucker cap, and the woman was one of those skinny, withered long-term smokers/drinkers/druggers of indeterminate age. They were both very weathered, but the woman was a bit more horrifying, with big, buggy, glassy gray eyes.

I couldn't figure out why they were after me or what they intended to do with me, but they were clearly on the hunt. They chased me around the car several times, although how they didn't catch me I don't know, since I was doing that extreme slow-motion heavy-limb running that always happens in scary dreams.

I don't remember how I managed to elude them, but the next thing I can remember is being in a car with my various family members and still being terrified and traumatized. They didn't really take it seriously, since they hadn't been there to face the redneck specters. One interesting detail of this car ride is that I was in the passenger's seat, but my mother, who had previously been driving, was in the back seat. She said, "oh, it's no big deal, just steer from the passenger's seat"**. I wondered how I was supposed to deal with braking and shifting from the passenger's seat, but I think the car just rolled to a stop without any problems.

The next thing I remember is arriving at a house, still with assorted family members in tow. We were all hungry and needed to eat, but for some reason a restaurant wasn't a consideration. We had uncooked food, so we just entered a house (inhabited) and I went straight to the kitchen and started heating water***. Some of my party voiced misgivings with this, but I waved it off like taking over someone's kitchen without permission was a perfectly acceptable thing to do. I think I was still under the impression that my trauma with the rednecks gave me carte blanche to do whatever necessary for survival.


*It probably sounds from these dreams like I watch a lot of horror movies; I don't, but the ones I have tend to stick around in my subconscious. And at least 75% of them seem to feature Scary Rednecks.
**I've had this dream before, realizing that I'm in the passenger's seat of a moving vehicle with no one in the driver's seat. It's pretty obvious what that means, although I don't like the sounds of it. But frankly, I'm not sure I want to dig too deep into this new twist (my mother vacating the driver's seat). Seems a bit too Freudian for comfort.
***Wait a minute, I've dreamed this before too, except that my parents were the ones advocating breaking and entering, and I was the voice of reason.

my subconscious is an overachiever

Think of the creepiest, most icky, bound-to-stick-with-you-and-resurface-when-you-don't-want-it-to dream that you can think of, not involving violence. Now see if it comes close to this:

I dreamed that I found out my mother was a hermaphrodite.

I don't see how it could get much more traumatic than that and not involve violence.

And then the other night I dreamed about being pursued by the mafia. I performed a lot of daring gymnastic stunts that I would never be able to do in real life, including but not limited to climbing down the face of a balconied apartment building. That's really all I remember, but it went on for quite a while and was very scary. Also, food was involved somehow--I think the mafia were pursuing me over some kind of restaurant-business secret.

it felt like i was in a movie

maybe something like james bond? only i was not the hero. i was the weird person that left you wondering "why is SHE in the movie?" i was the tag along 'scaredy' cat that didn't want to be there.

anyways, i don't remember a whole lot. i do know that i was with some strange Indiana Jones type of man who talked someone into letting him borrow a boat which resembled a pirate ship. there were 2 of us navigating, although i wasn't helping too much as i was the one sitting in the back of the boat wishing i was there. the only other thing i really remember is that there were cars driving on the water. i remember some type of red audi. and we were trying to chase someone. in a foreign country.

Speed Skating

Last night's dream was so strange that I had to repeat it aloud to myself so I'd remember it. I was a Tibetan Buddhist monk (male, apparently) and I, along with another Tibetan Buddhist monk, had been captured by the slightly crazy driver of a speedboat. There was some prelude to the capture, but I can't remember it. The speedboat was one of those really long, sleek boats that rise up out of the water when they're going really fast. At some point, the boat stopped (we were on a river) for a break, and my fellow monk and I slipped overboard. The captain and crew (a couple of guys and a couple of scantily-clad women with huge breasts) were looking for us at the riverbanks all around, while we were really clinging to the hull on the right side of the boat. While they were distracted, we decided to make our escape by speed skating over the surface of the water, heading upriver. It was quite exhilarating, going so fast over the water. The boat began to chase us, of course, but all was going well until we ran into the rest of our water speed skating team (apparently this was the goal all along). I was dismayed to learn that my partner this time would be Halle Berry (???), who I thought was pretty, but not a professional water speed skater. I was afraid she'd ruin my chance for escape, whereas the other girls on the team were stronger and faster. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, though, so we started skating in formation with all the others.

Chased and late

So I was in the car with my parents, and we were driving along one of the semi-familiar composited freeways that populate my dreams. It was under construction of some sort. I don't remember if I saw a sign or heard a tour guide of some sort say it, but I became aware that there was something special about the robots on the side of the road. Robots?! I looked to one side of the car, and all I saw were these concrete pillar-things that looked vaguely humanoid. I looked to the other side, and there were some robots that looked like overgrown Lego men. One in a yellow hat started running up to the car, but my dad was able to speed up and get away from him. But then another of the robot guys started chasing us. This one looked like a human, with long dark hair and a goatee. I was reading a magazine and realized that the guy who was going to play a robot in a movie was a famous actor, who I think was named Collin Tokannon. Sure enough, that was the guy chasing us. I still felt alarmed by him, though, especially when he managed to catch us and then jump onto the bumper and cling to the car. We were in my car, the Bruise, and I was in the backseat, so I reached back and locked the back, just in case. I suppose if a guy can catch up to a speeding vehicle, jump onto the back, and manage to hold on, he shouldn't have any trouble opening the hatch and getting in (if it's unlocked).

Earlier, I had one of those awful dreams where I'm running late and about to disappoint everyone because I just can't get it together. It was my second day at a new job, and I was trying to decide what to wear. The outfit morphed a bit throughout the course of the dream, but throughout it was striking. I had on some sort of stripey green and pink long sleeved shirt, under a fuchsia button-down tunic with a beaded black bow-tie/brooch (I eventually removed the latter as being too over-the-top). Over that, I had on a sparkly black crocheted vest of sorts with a very open weave that showed the other two layers. On top of everything, I was wearing a soft, loose, long black sweater with a very deep V-neck, which made the whole thing very classy. The bottoms morphed from a knee-length fuchsia skirt that matched the tunic to capris of the same color. The thing that really pulled it all together, though, was my wide fuchsia bracelet. The problem was the shoes. Closed-toe shoes looked funny with such a spring-like costume, but it was winter and I had to wear them, even though the gap between my socks and the skirt/capris, exposing my very white legs, looked silly. I think I ended up settling on rather demure black sneakers with a couple inches of gray socks showing.

Even in the dream, I was concerned about such an odd get-up, but running as late as I was (45 minutes, I think, by the time the dream finally shifted), it didn't even occur to me to just start over. I think I thought if I could just get the right footwear ensemble, everything would be okay.

As if the stress in my waking life isn't enough. Instead it has to plague me in my sleep...