in which I dabble in the Albanian underworld

Well. After yesterday's extremely mundane dream, last night I had a pretty wild one. Following a bit of conversation about the Balkans yesterday, I dreamed that I was in Albania. Not only was I in Albania, but I was--wait for it--dealing drugs.

I'm not sure how I came to be in Albania, but I had our (real-life) old Jaguar with me (this will come up again later). Despite having transportation, though, I was stuck because I didn't have enough money to leave the country. So, logically, I turned to dealing drugs to make a quick buck (or lek, as the case may be).

I don't know how I made the acquaintance of the local underworld figures, but I had ended up as sort of a freelancer, only dealing with them in an off-hand way. I think I was obligated to turn over some kind of "tax" to ensure that they wouldn't meddle in my affairs. I also got my drugs from them. Of course they fit the exact mental image you'd have of a small-time Albanian Bad Guy: greasy hair, gold necklaces, track suits, unfortunate choice of headwear.

At one point I was in the lair of my drug provider to get re-supplied. There were several young women/girls in various states of intoxication and undress--it was obvious that they were working in a state of semi slavery, serving both as prostitutes, sex slaves, and drug customers. One of the gangsters was beating one of them up*, and I was trying to think of a way to get these girls out of the situation, while realizing that most of them were too addicted to participate in any way in their extrication.

During this same visit, while the guy I was dealing with was otherwise occupied, I started idly examining some of the wares on the table. I wasn't sure what it all was, not having any experience in that area myself. There was a pink package with some pink plastic objects resembling short pens (the labeling and packaging style was very Feminine Hygiene Product**). They had a little hole near one end, which I deduced was supposed to be sucked on or inhaled to get a hit. I tried it once, and got enough of an indefinable sensation to remind myself that rule number one was always that a successful dealer didn't consume the goods.

One of the most noticeable things about the dream was the feeling of being in a dangerous situation but of being tough and "bad-ass" enough to not be worried about the gangsters trying to mess with me (where this came from, I don't know, since I'm not exactly a toughie in real life). The scariest moments were two encounters, while in or near my car, with a group of young knife-wielding Roma boys intent on carjacking my car (I put that down to a stereotype about them favoring Mercedes and Jaguars). They were significantly scarier than the grown-up gangsters, but I managed to evade them both times.

In the end, the dream wound down in a fairly tiresome way. I had met up with some random young-ish American(-ish?) dream acquaintances, and we were all hanging around waiting for something undefined. I think we were waiting to be able to leave the country, although I don't know what specific event was going to allow us to leave. I finally got tired of them and their uninteresting and stupid conversation and went off by myself.

So there's another one to add to my collection of dreams dealing with unsavory themes. In my defense, I don't actually remember selling any drugs to anyone, and I remember having a philosophy of not introducing new users to drugs.


*In an interesting twist, I'm positive that this brutalization was inspired by that recent video of the guy stomping on the moveon.org protester's head. He used the exact same foot action.
**I was surprised to note a manufacturer's name and address in China; I hadn't thought that a manufacturer of illegal drugs (in my mind, this was some new exotic form of crack) would label their products as if they were, say, something you'd buy at Wal-Mart.

cameo appearances

I had forgotten until just now, but over the weekend I had a dream that Ewan McGregor was besotted with me [these so-and-so-is-in-love-with-me dreams are embarrassing]. He apparently had a well-documented, rather severe drug problem and was promising me, in the presence of some other people (assistant[s]?) to clean up his act and give up drugs for me. I said something noncommittal about how he needed to get his act together because he wanted to and not for someone else. Then I worried that maybe it came across as unkind, and I was glad that I had been mumbling and he hadn't heard me. So I came up with another, even vaguer and more noncommittal response--"umm...okay".

*********************

Then last night I dreamed that I was reading one of my favorite street fashion blogs. In real life, the guy who runs the blog was married, but now is dating the creator of another fashion blog I enjoy. In real life I was a little bit disturbed by this, even though they both seem like nice people as far as you can tell from their blogs. In the dream, I considered that he had gone overboard by posting some photos with some accompanying suggestive text*. The text was an allusion to really enjoying a hotel they had stayed at, if you get my drift. I can't remember what the photos were; I don't think they were actually nudes of his girlfriend, but I think they may have featured an unmade bed, or her lounging in a men's pajama top, or something like that. I saddled my high horse to post a reproachful comment about it, but I ended up paring it down to the succinct "poor taste".


*I should make it clear that he has not, to date, posted photos/text like that in real life.

unsuitable boy toy

One thing I dreamed last night was that I had an iPhone. I liked it, but I felt a little bit silly thinking I was part of a Great Community of iPhone users. I think there was an iPhone users' club having a convention somewhere, although I wasn't part of it.

The other part of the dream started at the end of a story line that I can't remember at all. In the previous story line I had met a very young guy, a babyfaced black teenager. I think I had met him in a professional context, and was surprised when he kept hanging around. It was time for me to leave wherever it was that I had been, and he proposed that I give him a ride somewhere. There was a certain amount of waiting around in the car, but I can't remember whether I was waiting for him or he was waiting for me. After a while I realized that all along he had been asking me out on a date. That realization horrified me on several levels: he was way too young for me, and I wasn't attracted to him anyway; it had taken an embarassingly long time to realize what his intentions were; I had probably acted unprofessionally by accepting his invitation; I was now "leading him on", etc.. I tried to think of a way to extricate myself without creating an awkward situation, but couldn't, so I just kept thinking of lame excuses and things I had to stop and do, hoping that he would get bored and go on home by himself. It was pretty excruciating. Also, embarrassingly*, he was dabbling in very small-time drug dealing, and I knew I should try to dissuade him from it but wasn't sure how.

[I don't know what's up with these dreams wherein some unsuitable guy is pursuing me or I'm "supposed" to be dating him. It was kind of fun to be able to say this morning that I had dreamed I had a "boy toy", though.]

*embarrassing because it's so racial-profiling-y.

Amusement Park Voodoo Ride

I dreamed that I was at an amusement park with a group of friends. I had been there before, and knew that I wanted to take my friends on one particular ride. It was more of an Experience than just a ride. It was run by a woman who conveyed the impression that she was a Haitian voodoo practitioner and that voodoo played a part in the ride. Basically, you sat down at her table and she would say some spooky incantations. In front of her was a bowl of Kandy Korn-shaped candy (but each piece was either red, black, or white) and you would eat a few pieces as she talked. There was some kind of drug in the candy and it would kick in later. You started out the adventure ride in her apartment and then you'd somehow get to the top of a really tall tower, climb into a boxy car, and then basically free-fall to the bottom. Because of the drug in the candy, you'd blank out what happened next, so your next awareness would be in a DIFFERENT room, decorated in a lavender-heavy Victorian style. On the dresser was a pile of legal-sized papers that revealed where you really were, which was so mindblowing (but I can't remember exactly why) that you were totally excited about this ride. You couldn't believe how you ended up in this Victorian room with a truly giant bed.

Anyway, I took my friends on this ride, but somehow the lady messed it up (like when someone tells a joke wrong) and nobody's mind was blown this time. All of my friends thought it was just OK and I was really disappointed.

drug dealing and house hunting

My husband and I are embroiled in house-buying negotiations and I'm finding it pretty stressful; this dream is an obvious reaction to that.

I dreamed that we were living in Spain (which we actually did when we first got married). In the dream we had just gotten married and had been living in separate apartments, and we were trying to find an apartment to rent or buy together. I don't know why, but I had apparently not been inside his apartment before (in fact, I have no idea where I had been living--it was as though I'd been dropped there suddenly). We went to get something from there and I found that he was living in this really great apartment. It had nice big rooms, huge windows, and a really nice tiled patio looking out over the neighboring rooftops. Looking back the decoration was a bit surprising, because it wasn't what I would envision his "bachelor pad" looking like (tasteful but a little bland). Anyway, it was a wonderful apartment. The only strange thing was that there were lots of people coming and going and just hanging out--in the kitchen, on the patio, all over. I assumed they were just friends.

So with this nice apartment I didn't see why we couldn't just live there--after all, if he could afford it alone we could surely manage with both of us paying. He said that wouldn't work, though, and indicated without coming right out and saying it that he had been getting a discount on it because he was dealing drugs out of it for the landlord, which explained all the people around. I hadn't noticed that they looked particularly stoned, but part of the deal was that he not only supply them the drugs but also let them hang around while they enjoyed their purchases.

I find this kind of funny because in real life our landlady in Spain made money on the side by selling hashish to acquaintances in the courtyard of the building, although we were never involved.