handsy old pastors

I've had a lot of very weird dreams lately and then forgotten them. Particularly frustrating was one just the other night that I was sure I wouldn't forget. Of course now it's gone, except for a vague impression that it may have involved a pig, and a certainty that there were a lot of subplots.

One that I didn't forget was another group trip (of course). This was a true, classic Group Trip dream: it was a mission trip with a large group of people. There was a lot of the requisite sitting around and waiting involved in the real life version of such a trip. We were getting organized transportation-wise, which involved picking a spot in one of several house-like contraptions that would be moved. I suppose they were vehicles, but from the inside they appeared to be houses, with separate, adjoining rooms and regular furniture instead of vehicle seats (the furniture and decor tended toward the fusty).

I was trying to pick a spot that would be okay for the long trip without being too greedy and picking a really prime spot, so I settled on the corner of a bed. I thought that with the large number of people in the group, all the furniture would fill up, leaving me with just one corner of the bed (not a wall corner, at that, so I wouldn't even have anything to lean on). I left some of my stuff there to stake my claim, and when I came back there was a group of girls camping out on the bed. They were younger than me, and sort of the stereotypical bold, slightly mean group of girls who does everything together and won't be broken up for anything. I hadn't quite grasped what was going on so I said, "I'm sorry, this is my spot", but they wouldn't take no for an answer. [I swear, this particular girl who wanted my spot, while just a dream fabrication and not an actual person, was the doppelganger of a girl I got into a fight with in a thrift store in a dream I haven't ever gotten around to recording.]

At this point I have to speculate about why I was so determined to keep my corner-of-the-bed spot when there were still much more desirable easy chairs scattered around (including one exactly like this lovely Anthropologie model). It may have been my subconscious trying to tell me something about a particularly bad real-life habit I have of not articulating what I want. Anyway, I ended up finding a hideous white-and-pink sprigged armchair that was very comfortable, if not very sturdy.

I don't know if we ever actually got started on the trip, or if this was all still during the waiting-around period, but there were several instances of trying to find something to eat. The options on offer were all typical nasty institutional cafeteria food. Worse than that, though, was this startling and embarrassing phenomenon: every time I was standing around trying to get something to eat, an older retired-pastor type would grab my derriere! The first time it happened I almost wondered if I had just imagined it. But no, any time I saw a similarly late-60s pastor type out of the corner of my eye (always a different one), the bum-grabbing was not long in coming. I was getting extremely irritated about it by the time I woke up. My husband tried to convince me it was some sort of sublimated desire, but I'm quite sure I don't have a fetish for handsy old pastor types.

fake iranian names??

I have no idea what I was dreaming about that may have prompted this, but as I was waking up, I was trying very hard to think of names that sounded convincingly Iranian (Fereshteh? Salafzaneh?). Very weird.

regressing

I hesitated all day about posting this because I think it's an embarrassing thing to dream, but it's so random that I'm going to go ahead and do it.

I don't know what the occasion was, exactly, but I was at some kind of big event being held in a school gym. Whatever the event began as, it was transitioning into a dress-up social occasion of the sort held by religious schools that can't hold a dance. I was somewhat younger in the dream than I actually am, and not married; and there were a lot of people from my old high school, although most of them were just faceless extras (all older than high-school-aged, like me).

When I found out that the event was going to turn dressy I turned my attention to what I should wear for it. Although I don't remember the creative act, I found myself in a dress that I had whipped up on the spot*, out of peach-colored silk, floor-length, and late-80s style (fitted bodice with a "v" at the waist, puffy sleeves--it should be noted that I was skinnier than my actual self in the dream and such a dress actually fit me properly). I was surprised at how good it had turned out, but once I tried it on for fit I kind of ran out of steam on hemming the sleeves and skirt, and was just wearing it unfinished and over a pair of pants.

That's not the really embarrassing part, though. Around that time I started talking to a guy from my high school class who I apparently had a crush on**. He was being very cute/funny/charming, and he put his arm around me as he made silly comments about a washer and dryer we were looking at. What he was saying wasn't even registering because I was so excited that he had his arm around me. Then he made a comment about how we could have that washer in our house if we got married, or something joking-but-not-joking in that vein. Then he mentioned Oklahoma and I realized with a start that he was a big family person and that if we were to get married I would have to spend a lot of time there, possibly even live in Oklahoma, which really gave me pause.

Anyway. The embarrassing thing is, who has such adolescent dreams? The whole thing reads like a 7th-grader's diary! ("And then we were looking at washers and dryers and he put his arm around me! I think he likes me!") And I thought admitting to the Johnny Depp dream was embarrassing. I'm not going to be surprised if in tonight's dream some boy gives me a note saying, "Do you like me? Check yes or no."


*The event was in a cross between a gym and a Best Buy store, complete with merchandise in random places, including sewing machines and other home appliances.
**Thinking about it this morning, I realized that there may have been an actual mutual crush at the time, but I was too clueless to pick up on either side of it.

Snippets

I had a lot of very strange dreams last night, many of which I can't remember. Of the ones I can, here are some snippets.

I had a series of dreams (interspersed with waking up and turning over) that involved updates on the legislative session in the state of Texas. I kept dreaming that I was reading/seeing/sensing various movements in the Austin government. I was both bored and confused by this in my sleep.

Then I had a strange and terrible dream that the top layer of skin on my right hand was peeling off, in the manner of post-sunburn peeling. It was really gross and I was afraid my boyfriend would yell at me, that he would think I wasn't taking care of myself. I tried putting lotion on it, but the skin was coming off in one big sheet, so lotion didn't really help.

Then I dreamed that a coworker and I were going to attend a coronation or inauguration. He decided to wear a large silver earring, in the manner of a pirate. I kept my mouth shut, as he obviously thought it was a good fashion choice.

Then I dreamed that I was poking around in a crumbling, falling-down house with passageways and tunnels. In one tunnel, I discovered a large number of new-looking backpacks set out, as though on display. I thought that there were a couple of nice ones that I'd like to go back for. One was a kind of cream color with a retro-style red trim. I was vaguely disappointed when I woke up and realized I couldn't go back for them.