russian porn?

After some other things I can't remember, I dreamed I was accompanying my sister while she underwent some sort of test. I can't remember whether this was an educational, professional, or medical test, but it was taking place at an unlikely location, an isolated building in the middle of some woods. The building was sort of a modern, somewhat institutional thing reminiscent of a National Park Service visitor's center, with a stairway leading up to the main entrance on the second floor.

I think this testing was being incorporated into a longer road trip or maybe a long-distance move, because the car I was waiting in contained a lot of random possessions. I was just sitting there, trying to work up my energy for some personal grooming, including changing out of my pajamas (?), when I saw a familiar-looking guy walk down the stairs and approach the car.

The guy turned out to be someone I had gone to school with briefly in college and been fairly good friends with for a short time. He got into the passenger's seat to talk, and proceeded to ask what I had been doing all this time. He made a ridiculous gesture meant to simulate jiggling boobies*, to which I said, "If by that you mean have I been making Russian porn**, no, I haven't." He seemed disappointed but took it in stride, and then tried to convince me to go on a trip with him, saying, "it'll be fun!" By the way, he was also pajama-clad. I really don't know why we were both in our pajamas; it had no bearing on the story. Perhaps it was an artistic flight of fancy on the part of my subconscious, a little Hugh Hefner-esque touch (although both pajamas were regular cotton, no silk dressing gowns).


*Totally in character for this guy, who I liked in spite of his crassness.
**I think my subconscious, knowing I'm not a fan of the stuff (Russian or otherwise), throws in a cameo appearance every so often just to bug me.

Noah and the Flood

I dreamed that I was with my boyfriend, his family, and several other people in a large house clearly located in Florida. I'm not sure why we were all together, but we learned that The Flood was going to happen (yes, the Biblical flood). I guess we heard it on TV, so we were trying to get things ready in the house (sort of like hurricane preparation). I guess we were going to try to ride it out at home.

The house was very open, airy, and light with lots of windows and skylights. I was worried about all this glass, so we decided to take refuge in a bedroom that only had one window.

As we were making preparations, it seemed that I was the only one who was really worried about the severe weather approaching; I could see the vast, black storm cloud coming up on the horizon. I grabbed my laptop and wondered if I should go and get my backpack, which apparently had my clothes inside. In the end, I didn't because a distraction arrived.

Apparently, the Biblical Aaron arrived, who had apparently made the prediction that this flood would happen. (Notice that I'm confusing Biblical characters here: in my dream, Aaron was Noah's brother.) When he showed up, I rolled my eyes and inwardly sighed; he was wearing what he clearly thought was a "hipster" suit, sunglasses, and he had long straight hair, parted down the middle. The suit, however, was large and boxy, in a navy blue, and he was wearing this mustard yellow shirt underneath, sans tie. I thought he was trying to act the part of Prophet a little too hard. (I believe that Noah was already present in the house, though he didn't have a large role in the dream.)

Everyone was really impressed that we had Aaron in the house. Everyone had gone into the small bedroom to wait for the storm to hit. This stranger, a woman, was sitting across from me. She was total Florida from head to toe, wearing a pastel suit, tons of makeup and jewelry, and had a deep mahogany tan. She kept asking me questions, as though to show that I wasn't as cool as I thought.

Then a guy came to sit in front of me because I was going to shave his face (?!). I was using this tiny, extremely sharp tool to shave him, sort of like a straight razor, but much smaller. More like a larger exacto knife. I was scraping away at his (surprisingly thick) beard/neck hair under his ears (??), and he kept twisting his head around to look at me. He kept asking me really personal questions, implying that he'd seen me several times in porn videos!!!

I kept asking him to sit still so I didn't slit his throat ("Sir, please sit still!"), but he kept saying things like, "You don't have to pretend with me, I've seen you naked," as he kept giving me leering glances. He was really gross too, a red-faced, thick-necked guy with a big, fleshy ear and jowl. I never really understood if he was mistaking me for someone else, or if I really had been in porn videos. I just decided to keep my professional shaver's demeanor and asking politely for him to sit still. My boyfriend was sitting beside me the whole time, and I knew he'd appreciate it if I didn't respond to this idiot.

Living the Dream

I can only remember a tiny bit of my dream from last night. One part was that I was somewhere trying to find something to watch on TV. I wanted to watch the Food Channel, but the channels on either side of it were showing gay porno movies, and it was embarassing because I kept accidentally hitting the remote control, causing my husband (who kept walking in and out of the room) to raise his eyebrows.

There was also a discussion with some other unknown people in my dream about reading. A couple of us were extolling the joys of reading, but one (very hirsute) guy was less enthusiastic. He said, "Yes, I know how to read, but that doesn't mean I'm going to Live the Dream." So now whenever I read anything, I'm going to think of it as Living the Dream.

(By the way, my sincere apologies for introducing the "porn" tag--I didn't want to, but I figured I had to be thorough in my tagging....)