Friday, April 17, 2009

Cleaning, Searching, Seeing, Accepting

At the beginning of the dream, I was riding the bus. I had gotten off the express bus from work and got on another bus to go to tango class. My friend, SO, got on the bus and sat nearby. I suddenly remembered we were going to get out of class very late. At first I thought I should have driven, but then thought maybe another friend, JH, or SO's husband could drive me back to my car. We got to the studio, but the class hadn't started. It took a while for the teacher to arrive. When he did, I realized that the room (which looked like a bedroom) was very messy. I had to move things back in place. There was a small table in the middle of the room that had to be moved back behind the bed. I also pushed the bed to be flush up against the table. I was trying to move things back in place and two other tango students, KS and CC, came to help. I apologized for things being such a mess, for not cleaning up before class started.

I went out of the room into the kitchen to get a drink of water. I ran into two women I knew from college. I was surprised to see them there. We hugged. They asked me where the bathroom was. I knew the place had a bathroom along one of the hallways. I walked them down there and saw my freshman college roommate, JJ, coming out of a room. I said half-jokingly, "JJ is in Raleigh, North Carolina and she didn't tell me?" JJ looked guilty, but didn't say anything. I realized if JJ was there, then the AKA sorority must be having a meeting in the house. I continued to walk down the halls. I remembered the house having two bedrooms on the floor, each with it's own bathroom inside - but they were not open to the public. I thought the public bathroom was one of the doors at the far end of the hall, but the doors I opened were not the right ones. I finally found the bathroom when I walked back to the beginning of the hall.

I walked back to the other side of the house and saw Rev. L, the campus chaplain from college, from across the room. I felt compelled to talk to him. In the dream I knew he was already dead (died at least 10 years ago in reality) and had been sent to talk to me. I walked over to him and he led me to his office. While following him I saw my hands, my body, and my feet in the dream. I made a point to touch my body. I named each thing aloud as I looked at it in the dream, "I see my hands. I see my body. I see my feet." (Saying it aloud seemed more conscious than the rest of the dream). Rev. L and I walked into his office. It was a small room, with a desk that took up most of the room. The desk was cluttered with stacks of paper. The room had a large window, a small whiteboard/chalkboard, and two chairs. We each sat in a chair - the window was to the right of me. (I saw my knees and my hands again.) Rev. L showed me transcripts of people whose names I did not know/remember. He told me these students started with me and needed to graduate. I asked him what he wanted me to do. He asked me to read their papers. He explained they started the research so long ago that many of their ideas have already been made into laws. I got the impression I wasn't supposed to critique the papers too much - just read them. I said I would do it. I said told him I would do whatever it is he would have me to do.

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