last night's dream was prompted by some time i spent on facebook prior to going to sleep. through facebook i learned about a friend of friends who passed away on sunday. it appears he has had a rough couple of years emotionally and the death may have been a suicide or an accidental overdose... no one knows yet.
i never knew this man but morbid curiosity took over and i spent a good amount of time piecing together his story through the wonders (?) of social media. i was sad to learn that he left behind two young boys and that led me to dream about holding a sobbing boy in my arms as he mourned the loss of his father. it was a rather gut-wrenching dream. upon waking up i realized that this is the third (at least) dream i have had where i remember comforting a sobbing child.
*****
today i spent the day with the department i work with at a retreat. which means lots of time together in one room. when i came home i immediately fell asleep and had a dream that one of my coworkers was blind. my interaction with him as a blind man was very detailed and i thought it was a rather strange thing to dream.
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
more and more ugh
The string of unpleasant dreams is continuing unbroken. The other night I dreamed that my husband and I were both undergoing some sort of hazing/trial period for a fraternity and sorority, respectively. And just before I woke up this morning, I was dreaming that a pleasant neighbor we had recently met (in the dream, not in real life) had abruptly committed suicide. In fact, I think it was the horror of that that jolted me awake.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
movie #1 in an upcoming apocalyptic franchise
I had one of the most elaborate "movie" dreams I can remember last night. Interestingly, although it didn't last that long, the plot followed the conventional story path to an extent that none of my other remembered movie dreams have.
The beginning was fairly separated from the dreams before it (which I can only barely remember, except that a couple of old friends who recently visited me in real life were there for a visit), but I want to say that part of the previous dream involved planning to go see a movie--I could be wrong about that, though.
At any rate, there was a definite beginning to the "movie" part. It was clearly a movie, although at the same time it was participatory--I was right there in the action, participating. I was seated on some concrete steps going up to a building, in a residential neighborhood with wide streets. There were several early-20s girls there with me on the steps, and nothing much was going on. There was a girl from my elementary school there, and she was petting my doberman, who was collapsed on her lap in immobile ecstasy from all the attention [I have a hard time imagining this person appreciating a very large dog in real life].
Suddenly, one by one, all of us were overtaken by a feeling of intense dread, and just after that a sensation of loss of bodily control, like everything was slowing down and we couldn't move our limbs--but at the same time, our bodies seemed to be contorting themselves of their own accord. It was very scary. At the moment when everyone had realized that something terrible and mysterious was happening, a mist crept toward the building from the other side of the street*.
This situation lasted an indefinable amount of time, and slowly everyone went back to normal, although we were still very freaked out. Then I heard sirens from several approaching police cars (from the direction the mist had come from, coincidentally). I was crossing the street when they approached, and was nervous about getting run over, when I noticed a circa-1960s blue Bronco approaching very fast. The young woman driving it seemed to be having some kind of violent spasm, and she then drove right into a tree, very fast, completely crushing the car. Just then I realized that similar things were happening to people in other cars all over the city (and possibly to pedestrians too): people were suddenly going completely crazy and becoming out-of-control in a savage, destructive way.
The next thing I can remember is being in a room resembling a cross between an old classroom, an "alternative" coffee house, and a warehouse. There were scaffolding-like things hanging from the ceiling, which I think may have been set lighting (this is important later). The room was full of the carefully diverse combination of people one sees in apocalyptic movies [the "people who would never normally associate are thrown together in a disaster" trope as plot device]. My husband was there, and it was obvious that we were both there as observer/participants and not really as "characters". I was a little annoyed with him for some reason, and sitting a few seats away--I thought he was being hyperactive and disruptive.
An older Asian man started to address the group, and it became clear that in this scenario, the U.S. and possibly the whole world had been taken over by China, making up a sort of mega-dictatorship. The man had a professorly air, and was talking about his life's work of designing and implementing a self-sustaining underwater city. He had a really beautiful 3-d model in carved wood showing the structure: like a globe composed of an organic framework, with a lot of little hanging lily-pad-like elements for the various components needed to make up the city. I'm not really sure if the model was physically there or if it was one of those hologram things sci-fi directors are so fond of using in movies.
Anyway, as the man explained his concept I slowly became aware that this was actually the dictator (he was also an engineer, as evidenced by the "P.E." after his name**). I got the impression that he hadn't really harbored ambitions of becoming Dictator of the World, but was one of those extremely cerebral people who was completely absorbed in his mission (the underwater city) and that he had been channeled into dictatorship by other parties who thought he would be the best choice.
The only other thing of note that happened while we were all in the room was that a young Japanese artist hung himself from the ceiling scaffolding. I'm not sure exactly why he did it, but it was an act of protest of some sort.
After that, the end of the movie showed a young couple arriving at their upstairs apartment (sort of an above-garage apartment in an old house in a neighborhood with a slightly gone-to-seed San Francisco vibe). It was understood that they had reached safety, at least for the moment--the perfect ending for the first installment of an apocalyptic franchise! It's hard to explain, but of course the couple was a parallel version of my husband and me.
At the very end of the dream, I saw the title art for the movie. There was a dark red background and a couple of shadowy faces. The name of the movie was incomprehensible. I couldn't figure out if it was some kind of symbol (Greek, maybe?), or if it was a very short, invented two-letter word or name. At any rate, it was in a stylized, slightly fuzzed-at-the-edges gothic calligraphy.
*I'm pretty sure this has to do with my noting this dvd cover at Blockbuster the other day.
**Yes, I work in an engineering office.
***************************
And stay tuned for a dream from a few nights ago featuring a camero appearance by Lars von Trier.
The beginning was fairly separated from the dreams before it (which I can only barely remember, except that a couple of old friends who recently visited me in real life were there for a visit), but I want to say that part of the previous dream involved planning to go see a movie--I could be wrong about that, though.
At any rate, there was a definite beginning to the "movie" part. It was clearly a movie, although at the same time it was participatory--I was right there in the action, participating. I was seated on some concrete steps going up to a building, in a residential neighborhood with wide streets. There were several early-20s girls there with me on the steps, and nothing much was going on. There was a girl from my elementary school there, and she was petting my doberman, who was collapsed on her lap in immobile ecstasy from all the attention [I have a hard time imagining this person appreciating a very large dog in real life].
Suddenly, one by one, all of us were overtaken by a feeling of intense dread, and just after that a sensation of loss of bodily control, like everything was slowing down and we couldn't move our limbs--but at the same time, our bodies seemed to be contorting themselves of their own accord. It was very scary. At the moment when everyone had realized that something terrible and mysterious was happening, a mist crept toward the building from the other side of the street*.
This situation lasted an indefinable amount of time, and slowly everyone went back to normal, although we were still very freaked out. Then I heard sirens from several approaching police cars (from the direction the mist had come from, coincidentally). I was crossing the street when they approached, and was nervous about getting run over, when I noticed a circa-1960s blue Bronco approaching very fast. The young woman driving it seemed to be having some kind of violent spasm, and she then drove right into a tree, very fast, completely crushing the car. Just then I realized that similar things were happening to people in other cars all over the city (and possibly to pedestrians too): people were suddenly going completely crazy and becoming out-of-control in a savage, destructive way.
The next thing I can remember is being in a room resembling a cross between an old classroom, an "alternative" coffee house, and a warehouse. There were scaffolding-like things hanging from the ceiling, which I think may have been set lighting (this is important later). The room was full of the carefully diverse combination of people one sees in apocalyptic movies [the "people who would never normally associate are thrown together in a disaster" trope as plot device]. My husband was there, and it was obvious that we were both there as observer/participants and not really as "characters". I was a little annoyed with him for some reason, and sitting a few seats away--I thought he was being hyperactive and disruptive.
An older Asian man started to address the group, and it became clear that in this scenario, the U.S. and possibly the whole world had been taken over by China, making up a sort of mega-dictatorship. The man had a professorly air, and was talking about his life's work of designing and implementing a self-sustaining underwater city. He had a really beautiful 3-d model in carved wood showing the structure: like a globe composed of an organic framework, with a lot of little hanging lily-pad-like elements for the various components needed to make up the city. I'm not really sure if the model was physically there or if it was one of those hologram things sci-fi directors are so fond of using in movies.
Anyway, as the man explained his concept I slowly became aware that this was actually the dictator (he was also an engineer, as evidenced by the "P.E." after his name**). I got the impression that he hadn't really harbored ambitions of becoming Dictator of the World, but was one of those extremely cerebral people who was completely absorbed in his mission (the underwater city) and that he had been channeled into dictatorship by other parties who thought he would be the best choice.
The only other thing of note that happened while we were all in the room was that a young Japanese artist hung himself from the ceiling scaffolding. I'm not sure exactly why he did it, but it was an act of protest of some sort.
After that, the end of the movie showed a young couple arriving at their upstairs apartment (sort of an above-garage apartment in an old house in a neighborhood with a slightly gone-to-seed San Francisco vibe). It was understood that they had reached safety, at least for the moment--the perfect ending for the first installment of an apocalyptic franchise! It's hard to explain, but of course the couple was a parallel version of my husband and me.
At the very end of the dream, I saw the title art for the movie. There was a dark red background and a couple of shadowy faces. The name of the movie was incomprehensible. I couldn't figure out if it was some kind of symbol (Greek, maybe?), or if it was a very short, invented two-letter word or name. At any rate, it was in a stylized, slightly fuzzed-at-the-edges gothic calligraphy.
*I'm pretty sure this has to do with my noting this dvd cover at Blockbuster the other day.
**Yes, I work in an engineering office.
***************************
And stay tuned for a dream from a few nights ago featuring a camero appearance by Lars von Trier.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
depressing
Just before I woke up I was dreaming about a suicidal middle-aged woman (no one I know, just a dream character). She had malaria, and every time it would start to flare up she would leave the dog (a tiny wire-haired yappy thing) with a note for her husband and go off somewhere to let her malaria get severe and hopefully die. I was very unhappy when I woke up and discovered it was time to get up, because I wanted to go back to sleep and dream something happier.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
15th Floor
I dreamed that I, along with several people I know, was staying in a hotel. There were two plotlines happening simultaneously. First, there was a mystery about what was happening on the 15th floor. Every time one of us tried to take the elevator to the 15th floor something strange would happen to prevent us arriving. For example, we'd be splashed by water in the elevator. Once there was something black flapping around the elevator ceiling, which I captured only to discover that it was a swatch of black human hair.
Concurrently, a friend of mine (in real life) was making the rounds of the social network trying to explain her reasons for planning to commit suicide. She kept trying to tell us why she wanted to kill herself and we'd keep telling her not to. She'd try to explain to her husband over and over.
Anyway, eventually we caught the mysterious guy who appeared to have been creating all these strange things in the elevator. He was rather sheepish. When we all arrived on the 15th floor, it turned out that the mystery was a big electronics sale on the roof of the building and the mysterious guy had wanted it all to himself.
While we were walking around looking at the stalls and tents of electronics vendors, I noticed my friend and her husband arguing, he was pleading with her again, and she was pulling away. Just as I started walking toward them, she pulled her hand out of his and threw herself off the roof of the 15th floor. He fell to the ground sobbing, and I, along with other friends, restrained him from throwing himself after her. I was crying in the dream and woke myself up by making crying noises.
Concurrently, a friend of mine (in real life) was making the rounds of the social network trying to explain her reasons for planning to commit suicide. She kept trying to tell us why she wanted to kill herself and we'd keep telling her not to. She'd try to explain to her husband over and over.
Anyway, eventually we caught the mysterious guy who appeared to have been creating all these strange things in the elevator. He was rather sheepish. When we all arrived on the 15th floor, it turned out that the mystery was a big electronics sale on the roof of the building and the mysterious guy had wanted it all to himself.
While we were walking around looking at the stalls and tents of electronics vendors, I noticed my friend and her husband arguing, he was pleading with her again, and she was pulling away. Just as I started walking toward them, she pulled her hand out of his and threw herself off the roof of the 15th floor. He fell to the ground sobbing, and I, along with other friends, restrained him from throwing himself after her. I was crying in the dream and woke myself up by making crying noises.
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