Monday, November 30, 2009

my subconscious is an overachiever

Think of the creepiest, most icky, bound-to-stick-with-you-and-resurface-when-you-don't-want-it-to dream that you can think of, not involving violence. Now see if it comes close to this:

I dreamed that I found out my mother was a hermaphrodite.

I don't see how it could get much more traumatic than that and not involve violence.

And then the other night I dreamed about being pursued by the mafia. I performed a lot of daring gymnastic stunts that I would never be able to do in real life, including but not limited to climbing down the face of a balconied apartment building. That's really all I remember, but it went on for quite a while and was very scary. Also, food was involved somehow--I think the mafia were pursuing me over some kind of restaurant-business secret.

2 comments:

CëRïSë said...

You are a hilarious writer. I love it!

Curly Sue said...

I just sprayed my monitor a little bit when I burst out laughing at that first one.

Also, the second is pretty amusing, but nothing on the first.