Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Queen

It was my grandmother's birthday, so we were going to celebrate with a party - the only problem was that my grandmother was THE QUEEN so it had to all be amazing. Unfortunately, although this would mean I was a princess, (or some such royalty) I still had to run a lot of errands.

As I was driving to buy some supplies (more bread? I had to check the kitchen before I left and it was filled with fruit, so I know I wasn't buying more of that) I suddenly had to pee, so I pulled over at a strip mall doctor's office to ask to use their facilities.

And who should be the doctor, but Whoopie Goldberg! There was a long line of patients, all actually lined up to talk to her, and she ignored me for a while until finally I just blurted out that I had to go to the bathroom. She pointed me in the right direction, but also told me that I had to come out and tell her what the conditions were like because she had to go to.

The bathroom was like a locker room bathroom - lots and lots of stalls. Most were used, and the few that were open, I kept looking and there was poop in almost all of the bowls, so I kept searching for a clean one. I finally found one, but added lots of toilet paper to the seat, which somehow kept getting wet, and wet toilet paper is one of the grossest things ever, so I was trying not to touch anything. And I felt very "dirty".

When I left the strip mall it was no longer a strip mall, but a futuristic Broadway. Then somehow I ended up at a bus stop. The Boy was with me and trying to convince me that we had enough time to run into the nearby store and buy what we needed before the bus came.

We went, but then I told him that he had to go wait for the bus while I bought everything and he couldn't let the bus go until I got there or I'd be really bad. When I left the store, the bus stop was up this hill, and I was afraid that I was going to have those weird dream legs when you try to run and can't go quickly (I thought I'd miss the bus), so instead of running up the sidewalk I decided to walk up next to the sidewalk in the grass.

We arrived at the party, it had just started and I was relieved that I didn't miss the whole thing. And The Boy was wearing awesome graffitied shoes that my dad said he really liked.


CëRïSë said...

OH MAN. Bathrooms are totally like that in my dreams. I have had so many! It must be some deep Jungian connection between women or something.

I Hope So said...

whoopie goldberg! she would be a great dream doctor!

i've never had a bathroom dream like you (and apparently ceri) where they were all dirty with poop. i think you guys must have poop issues.

that's my official analysis.