i really don't look that good in polka dots

last night i had one awkward dream after another. but right now i only have time to blog this particular scene that's haunting me this morning:

for no particular reason my mom (who is still very much married to my dad in real life) was dating this guy that looked a lot like sawyer from lost. only he resembled sawyer more in his creepiness than in his hotness. i was suspicious of him and followed him as he drove to a lot that was occupied with various locked storage units. he went to one unit, unlocked it, and inside was a car surrounded by a bunch of junk. he opened the car door and took out his little girl and little boy, who were both made to stay in the car, locked in the storage unit, while he was out "dating" my mom. as i watched this scene, i had to struggle with a major dilemma. on one hand i am a mandated reporter and i am ethically and legally bound to report this horrible act of child abuse to the authorities. on the other hand, this was really going to put a damper on my mom's new relationship.

i later walked down to the street to the elementary school of my youth. it was the first day of school and all the parents were there with all of their children and there were a variety of street vendors selling their products on the sidewalk out front. at this time i realize i am completely naked except for my superman boy-short-style-underwear. and my hair is a mess. i cover my chest and duck into a street vendor booth that is selling large, ugly t-shirts. i tell the woman that i have no money on me (because i was basically naked, you know) and she says it's cool and hooks me up with a most hideous polka-dotted minnie mouse t-shirt. i put it on, just glad to be covered up, when this chick who is also looking at the merchandise in the booth decides to tell me "your hair is a mess. it looks just awful" as she tells me this she has this look of disgust on her face. i'm thinking, i really don't need to hear this right now... i was just NAKED and now i'm wearing a MINNIE MOUSE SHIRT. just as i'm about to walk away all very ashamed, i take a look at the chick who is judging me so harshly and i laugh as i realize that she has a very serious 5 o'clock shadow. so i proceed to tell her "funny how you are worried about my hair when you are growing a BEARD!"

she then looked at me with a face that pretty much said "good point".