Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Hi Luke!

This dream occurred two nights ago and it is still on my mind.

I dreamed that I was in Norway visiting and I had a baby. The baby, a little boy, was born early but he was o.k. I knew that he was early because he was super skinny with those little chicken legs that some babies have. He had white blonde hair and quite a bit of it. My husband was there with me but I had the distinct feeling that he was not the baby's father although he was happy to see him and glad that he was o.k. We were in Norway and we did not have anything for the baby. I asked my best norwegian friend if she had any clothes left from when her little boy was a baby and she did not. We tried to go to a store but in typical norwegian fashion, it had already closed for the evening. I clearly recall holding the baby and looking at him in awe and amazement that he was there and he was o.k. He was beautiful even though he was too skinny which made his head look super big. Oh and it was obvious to me that his name was Luke.

I woke up and started thinking about this dream. It was a little core-shaking for a number of reasons. The first reason was that I "knew" that my husband was not Luke's father. And he seemed o.k. with all this? It was really wierd. Another reason was that I was having a baby at all. With my husband bringing four kids to our marriage, there will be no more. So this baby arriving, even in my dreams, is shocking. The clarity with which I could feel and smell him was unnerving as well. But the most "shake me up" part of the whole dream was how seeing Luke felt like I was seeing someone that I hadn't seen in a really long time and I missed him and I hadn't even known it. Since I woke up from the dream, I have had a vague sense of sadness because I want to see him again. He was lovely and he was mine. I knew that much.

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